Comedy New Year’s Resolutions

I’m not too keen on the term “New Year’s Resolutions”. It’s too much pressure. Who’s knows what my life will be like by the end of 2010. I could resolve to work out and be more healthy in my eating, but perhaps I discover I have a penchant for making cheesecakes in a reclining position. Maybe I resolve to use words like “penchant” more often, but then I loose all my friends because they no longer understand me or think I’ve gone all hipster on them.

I think there is some honest truth behind NYRs. It’s a time to set goals for the coming year. To take stock in your life and figure out what you want. People like asking what your NYR is this year because people are nosy, and want to size up their goals against yours. Too ambitious, people won’t care and/or hope for your failure so their more attainable goal seems less diminished. Too easy and those that ask will feel empowered since they have obviously taken on more of a challenge than you. And then there are the mighty few who say, “I don’t have a NYR” or the ever popular, “My NYR was not to make a NYR“. First of all, the latter is a contradiction, since you in theory have just made one and have achieved it, therefore, you’re a douchebag. QED.

Come on people, you’re cognitive human beings who are a part of this great declining civilization called America. You can’t think of a goal? Just one goal!?! No wonder this country is sort of screwed right now. Hey you, average American, what do you want to do this year? Oh me, I don’t like thinking about what I want to do with myself. I’d rather find new and interesting way to get diabetes. Welcome to the future my friends…

Ok, so in the spirit of making goals. Here are some of my comedy based goals for the upcoming year:

  • Create two 30 minute sets. I don’t think I’m ready to headline by any means, since that requires a lot of pacing, but, by the end of this year, I would like to have enough good material to do two distinct 30 minute sets. I’ll be starting at the halfway point, with what I’ll assume is one 30 minute set. This assumption is debatable, but I won’t do it with you.
  • Update It still says, will be featuring all over the Pacific Northwest in the spring, which, I guess its true, but that was written almost a year ago. I also don’t have that beard anymore.
  • Blog more.
  • Do comedy in LA, NYC, and Phoenix. Get a spot at the Tempe Improv so my family can come see me do comedy in my home town.
  • Finish a comedy project that isn’t standup. Some kind of sketch or script or something. Haven’t figured out what I want to do yet, but the goal is there.
  • Continue writing at least once a week. Preferably more.
  • Produce a comedy show.
  • Start up a new writing group which encourages people to be better, preferably better in a way that I like so open mics are more enjoyable for me.
  • And as always, get funnier.

Ok, there they are. Let’s see how I do, shall we? Welcome to 2010!

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