The Renaissance Fair hits AZ!

I haven’t posted in a while, I’ll try to be better. I blame it on the fact that I’ve been working comedy hard this month and my blog is suffering for the sake of my live show. Comedy is art and art is suffering and something has to suffer! Just like they say in “National Treasure”, “someone has to go to jail…”. Man that movie sucked!

Anyways, I’m taking some much needed R&R down in Arizona with the parents this weekend. They have a great newspaper down here, the Arizona Republic. Maybe I’m just nostalgic, but it beats the pants off of anything in Seattle. Either this, or deep down inside I’m a republican. I’m hoping the paper is just better? So lately, I’ve been embracing my inner nerd in my comedy routine with some great results. I have a new joke about the Renaissance Fair which is slowly becoming the cornerstone to (hopefully) many funny jokes really soon. So I open the paper yesterday and what do I find, an add for the Renaissance Fair. Oh goody, they’re in town! (along with the Arabian horse show, Fountain Hills art fair, another horse show, why so many horses, who knows…).

Ok, so take a look at the add they took out today. Its about 3″x8″ just so you know…

So they’re here through March 29th. That’s a long time, but you can’t beat the weather in Phoenix right now so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. Now besides the fact that there is a sweet ass coupon in the lower part of this add, and ignoring that the fair has its own website (which in itself brings up yet another oxymoron), we are obviously drawn to the picture in the center. Who are these people and why the HELL wasn’t I told about this event at the fair. I thought it was all turkey legs and mead, but apparently now there are hot chicks at the Renaissance fair!?!? Thankfully my scanner was able to capture this part of the add a little better…


That’s right, you read this correctly, “Mediaeval Baebes”. Man, spell check did not like that phrase one bit at all. They’re in concert! Why? What are they “concerting” about? They are from England though, and those accents could be sexy. But are they modern sexy or just-evaded-the-black-plague sexy. Did anyone look like this back then, really? Classic “Fuck Me” Magazine says they are a “…mediaeval (oh yay, they can’t spell either) poetry and early music in upbeat anglo sex-on-legs style. Sex-on-legs style? Music majors, help me out. Ever heard of this? Me neither. Is this part of the old English before-women-had-rights they were just big piles of sex-on-legs? “The allure is undeniable”, true, but its also completely unknown. You’re right, I cannot deny that I have no idea why I want to go see this show. Other than breasts of course. But I can just go to Fashion Square Mall if I want to see those. Are Bill and Ted running the Renaissance fair now? I really hope not. That was, hands down, the worst part of that movie.

Needless to say, I won’t be going to this. I don’t have an outfit and if I’m going I’m going to do it right. I’ll just have to wait for the fair to hit the Pacific Northwest this summer and hopefully the Baebes come with it. Seeya then Baebes!